New Details: Meditation vs. Christianity

As we continue into the 21st century, many people are finding that meditation works better for them than other, more complicated spiritual practices such as Christianity.

With meditation:

  • You still feel peaceful, positive, and connected to the Source of All Things.
  • You become a good, caring person because it’s the right thing to do, rather than to appease mysterious supernatural entities who may or may not be watching your every move.
  • You needn’t drive to drafty gothic meeting halls, sit through lectures, sing, decipher arcane texts, speak Latin, endure organ music, put money in collection plates, or hold rummage sales. (Do people even have rummage anymore?)
  • It’s okay to be rational. You needn’t believe things like the Earth is only 5000 years old, or that two of every animal species could fit on a boat, or that God (who invented time and space, remember?) has any illusions about how we’re going to turn out, or that it isn’t the least bit weird or tacky that all those Bibles end up in motel rooms.

But now there’s even more to consider.

After decades interviewing people who’ve had near-death experiences, researchers believe there’s sufficient anecdotal evidence that the afterlife is significantly cooler for meditators than for Christians. Here’s how it seems to work:

If you’re a Christian, you go to Heaven, live on a cloud, and have winged beings of every description flapping around you for eternity.


What’s more, there’s considerable social pressure to keep thinking up flowery new compliments to flatter God. (You’d think She would’ve heard everything by now—but no.)

If you’re a meditator, you get a quiet, elegant seaside condo with a fabulous kitchen, high-speed Internet, a home theater, and Bluetooth everything:


And people make appointments to see you.

And they don’t flap.

Okay, you tell me.